


Things You'll Never See Again

by TerraYoung



Series: Short Stories from the Waverider [9]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: (Mick), Angst, Coldwave can be interpreted any way you like, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Minor Character Death, POV Second Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 05:34:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15308589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerraYoung/pseuds/TerraYoung
Summary: "They say you’re innocent. Sure, they prattle on and on about community service and seeing a therapist and shit like that, but in the eyes of the law you didn’t murder your family. You know better than that but you’re also not chomping at the bit to go to jail. Juvie was bad enough.…Juvie - Len. God, you have to tell Len what happened. Tell him that he shouldn’t trust you around Lisa anymore if this is what you can do to your own flesh and blood. And you have to tell Lisa that you killed her best friend. Forget Len not letting you around Lisa anymore - she won’t want to see you anymore after learning that.Not that you would blame either of them. You can hardly look at yourself in the mirror anymore."(Or: Mick deals with losing his biological family with some help from his chosen one.)





	Things You'll Never See Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SophiaCatherine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophiaCatherine/gifts).



They say you’re innocent. Sure, they prattle on and on about community service and seeing a therapist and shit like that, but in the eyes of the law you didn’t murder your family. You know better than that but you’re also not chomping at the bit to go to jail. Juvie was bad enough. 

  
…Juvie - Len.  _God_ , you have to tell Len what happened. Tell him that he shouldn’t trust you around Lisa anymore if this is what you can do to your own flesh and blood. And you have to tell Lisa that you killed her best friend. Forget Len not letting you around Lisa anymore - she won’t  _want_  to see you anymore after learning that. 

  
Not that you would blame either of them. You can hardly look at yourself in the mirror anymore.

 

XxXx

 

“Here ya go, Mickey,” Ma says, handing you a weird bundle of flesh and fabric. “Meet your baby sister - one of ‘em, anyway.”

  
You take it -  _her_  - not sure what to do, but not willing to cross Ma at the same time. “What’s her name?”

  
Ma smiles. “That one’s Amelia. Your pa’s got Amanda. Prob’ly call ‘em Mia and Mandy for short.”

  
“…Wow.”

  
“Wow indeed. Michael?” 

  
You look up at Ma - she only calls you that when you’re in trouble. 

  
“Michael?” Ma repeats. You nod. “You’re a big brother now. That means you gotta take care of your sisters, make sure nothin’ bad happens to them. Got it?”

  
“I do,” you answer. “I’ll be the bestest big brother ever.”

  
“I’m sure you will.”

 

XxXx

 

You trudge over to Len and Lisa’s. Their piece of shit dad’s still in jail, so it should be safe to come over. You still use your secret knock just in case. 

  
Len opens it seconds later. His eyes widen imperceptibly once he notices the state you’re in. 

  
“Holy shit, Mick. What happened?” He asks, moving to let you into the house. You don’t take the offer - you don’t deserve to. “…Mick?”

  
“They’re dead,” you force out. This is the first thing you’ve said in days. “Ma, Pa, the kids - they’re all dead.”

  
Len just frowns. 

  
“It’s - It’s my fault. I started a fire. Spread to the rest of the house. I got out but got stuck watchin’ an’ didn’t get anyone out. I’m a murderer, Lenny. Shouldn’t‘ve come here, but I don’t have anyone else.” Tears start streaming down your face.

  
“Get in here,” Lenny orders. Your body starts obeying him before your mind can stop yourself.

  
“But I -“ you struggle to catch your breath- “I killed my  _family_ , Lenny. You shouldn’t let me near you or Lise. Who knows what -“

  
“Did you want to kill them?” Len asks. You shake your head rapidly. “Did you want to not be able to save them?” Another head shake. “Then you can stay here. I trust you.”

  
“You shouldn’t,” you mutter. You still head in and let Len shut the door behind you. 

  
“Maybe not, but I’m gonna anyway.” Len rests a hand on your arm. “And I’ll stop you if you get too lost in a fire. I promise.”

 

XxXx

 

“Michael!” Ma shouts. You shake your head and glance up from the match you’re holding. “You’re supposed to be watching Evan, sweetie.” She snatches the matchbox away. “And who let you have these anyway?”

  
You stare at your hands. 

  
“If you tell me who gave ‘em to you, you won’t get in trouble for having them.”

  
“…Pa,” you finally answer. “Said it’d keep me outta trouble an’ outta his way.”

  
Ma sighs for a long time. “That man, I swear…” She shrugs. “Well, what can I do?” Ma kneels down to talk to you face-to-face. “Mickey, fire can be helpful and feel nice and warm, but it can hurt, too. Don’t play with it an’ only use it if I’m there with you. Okay?”

  
You nod. “Is Pa gonna be in trouble ‘cause of the matches?”

  
“…We’ll see,” Ma says. “Now go look after your brother.”

 

XxXx

 

“I can tell Lisa instead, if you want,” Len offers. “Let you rest.”

  
You shake your head. “No. I killed them, I should be the one to give people th’ news. Don’t think I could rest anyways.”

  
“Alright. She’s in her room.”

  
You slowly take the stairs, hands shaking too much to hold the railing properly. Lisa’s door - covered in glitter-glue stars - looms like a tombstone. You stand there for what feels like ages before finally knocking. 

  
Lisa opens the door with a bright smile and nearly knocks you over with a hug. 

  
“Mick!” She cries. “Haven’t seen you in  _forever_!” 

  
“It was last week, Lise.” You try to joke, but you’re just not in the mood. Lisa seems to pick up on that as the smile slowly slips off her face. 

  
“Is somethin’ wrong?”

  
You sigh, then gesture to Lisa’s room. She hops up on the bed and pats a spot next to her. You remain standing. 

  
“…Mick?” Lisa asks, voice wavering slightly. 

  
You hear a creaking from the hallway - Len must be listening in.   
“I… I have some bad news,” you finally say. “D’you know what it means when someone dies?”

  
Lisa nods. “They’re in Heaven and we’ll never see ‘em again long as we’re alive. Did someone…?”

  
“My family. There was a fire and-“ you don’t want to lie to Lisa, but she’s too young to understand everything- “I was the only one who got out. My ma an’ pa, and Mia, Mandy, Evan, and… and Hannah. They’re all dead. I - I’m really sorry.” 

  
You break down in tears for the second time in the last hour. As if setting off a chain reaction, Lisa starts crying, too. It takes everything in you not to comfort her, but you don’t deserve to. Not after what you did. 

  
Thankfully, Len comes running in straight away and envelops Lisa in a hug. He just sits there and rocks back and forth, letting her cry into his shoulder. It’s reminding you of so many things you can’t have anymore, so you sneak out of Lisa’s room and into the spare one you sometimes crash in. And you finally let yourself completely break down.

 

XxXx

 

There’s a knock on your door, waking you up. You roll over to look at the clock - 2AM. It’s too early for Pa to force you into doing the chores, so you don’t know what’s going on. 

  
The door opens. Ma stands in the opening, the hallway light illuminating her from behind. 

  
“Wha’s wrong?” You ask. 

  
Ma closes the door most of the way. “Hannah jus’ had a nightmare,” she answers, “an’ your Pa’s in a bad way.” Translation: drunk and angrily ranting. “I can’t take care of ‘em both, so could you help Hannah, please?”

  
“Sure.” You’re already rolling out of bed. You rest your hand on Ma’s shoulder on your way out. “Stay safe.”

  
Ma shrugs. “We’ll see.”

 

XxXx

 

“How’s Lisa?” You ask, much later. You’d finally pushed yourself into getting up and getting food in you. It’s more because Len would yell at you if you didn’t than you being hungry, but it’s something. 

  
Len shakes his head. “Sad and worn out from crying. Put on some Disney movies to get her to sleep.” He slides into the chair to your right. “You?”

  
You shrug with a mouthful of cereal, then swallow. “I’m alive an’ my family ain’t. ‘Cause of me. So not great.”

  
“Fair enough.” Len glances over. “Want something to drink? Dad’s never been too good at hiding his alcohol.”

  
“ _No_.” You take another spoonful of food you can’t really taste. “I know how you feel ‘bout people being drunk around you. An’ in the mood I’m in… I’d probably end up like Pa.”

  
“You’re  _nothing_  like that bastard.”

  
“Maybe, maybe not. Not really in th’ mood to find out.”

  
Len just nods. “Wanna watch Ninja Frenzy when you’re done?”

  
“Thought you hated that movie,” you answer. 

  
“But you love it. And given what happened, I’m being nice and letting you watch your favorites.” Len offers a smile. “But you owe me a Star Wars marathon.”

  
You almost feel up to returning the smile. “Seems like a good deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by @sophiainspace’s fic Cursed and doubles as a birthday gift.


End file.
